Four Capital Letters of DOOM
by xXannabellXx
Summary: Gir comes back from a different dimension with a stack of papers. It is discovered that these papers are fan fiction stories, all of them, romance, centered IZ characters. Things don't go well when they're discovered by the people starring in them.
1. RAPR Horror

**Ahh...The disclaimer...Yeah, I kinda ate it. Sorry. I think it said something about me not owning Invader Zim or the characters, because THEY belong to Jhonen Vasquez. Yeah, that sounds right.**

Chapter One: ZADR/RAPR

Zim laughed at his own genius. A few days ago, he had sent Gir to a different dimension to study the humans there. He burst into another insane laughing fit, and the computer did something close to rolling it's eyes.

"Subject Gir is trying to reestablish contact." The computer informed Zim. Zim laughed once again, and hit a few more buttons. A bright white light flashed on for a few seconds, and Gir appeared in a round chamber. While Zim proclaimed himself a genius, the computer wondered how what Zim had built actually worked. Gir was holding a giant clump of papers to his chest. After a few minutes of Zim laughing, the computer trying to figure out how that had worked, and Gir giggling (His giggle slowly grew into an insane laughter). Gir hugged the papers some more. Finally, Zim spoke up.

"Gir, what're those papers?"

"He-he-he...Fan fiction! I gots ZADR, TAGR, RAPR, GAGR!" He giggled a little when he said GAGR,"GAGR is my favorite! Heheh..." Zim considered asking, but decided against it. He just sighed and went to work on the repairs for the transportation machine. He shuddered, remembering how it had broken; Images of the toxic ants, the burns, the blueberries, and worst of all...The can of tuna. He fought to keep the disturbing images out of his mind. Gir was reading one of the clumps of papers. He seemed totally absorbed in whatever they said.

Zim occasionally muttered something, as did Gir. Other than that, it was silent. Zim couldn't help but be impressed by the papers. Anything that kept Gir silent was something to be looked into. He worked for many more hours. By the time he finished, Gir had went to bed, leaving some of the papers behind. Zim closed the last panel, and looked at the papers. His antennas twitched with curiosity. He sat down on the floor by the piles of paper, and picked one of the stories up. The heading said: "Wrong: Chapter One: No One is Looking (ZADR)". Zim read the first few paragraphs. He found that it started with the Dib-monkey, who was tied up. Zim chuckled, wondering who would tie him up and make him feel the mortal fear described. It pleased Zim to see that it had been him, himself, that tied up the Dib. Now enjoying the story, he read more. He got to the part where both characters were undressed, and wondered why they would do that.

Zim read a few more paragraphs, and finally threw the papers down, unable to read the horrible, graphic things described. Worst images than the tuna or the toxic ants combined came into his mind. He had thrown them down with all his might, causing a few unnoticed stories to fly into the outbox of the transportation machine. He sat in a fetal position in the darkest corner of the room for several more hours. He didn't notice when the Tallest came onto the screen.

"Hey, Zim, we have to make sure you aren't going to do something that'll kill us all, or something." Red explained flatly. They waited for Zim to respond for a few seconds.

"Heheh, hey Red, whaddya think is wrong with him?" Purple giggled. Red shrugged.

"Soldier! Attention!" Red snapped suddenly, after a minute or so of silence. Zim now noticed their presence, and popped back up, saluting. Red and Purple both groaned, a bit upset that Zim wasn't permanently hurt.

"No, what I've been doing has been flawless, I tell you, _FLAWLESS!_ Here, I'll show you! I've been doing some repairs on a transportation device! There's nothing in the outbox, but nothing will blow up when I use it, see?" Zim demonstrated, unaware of the papers in the outbox. He hit a button. Nothing blew up. Red muttered something, and the Tallest cut the connection.

Red sighed, relieved that it was finally over. He and Purple laughed at Zim for a few minutes, trying to figure out what the papers that could have disturbed Zim so much could have said. The technicians and servants started whispering, usually running out afterwords. The Tallest didn't notice. At some point, all the technicians and servants had left. It was only when there was no response to Red's demand for donuts that they noticed everyone was gone. A female technician ran in.

"M-My Tallest! This document came in the in-box for the transportation machine, and they're awful! They-They...You need to see it for yourself!" She handed Red a pile of papers. Red scanned through it, discovering it was a story about him and Purple. After a few minutes, his antennas twitched a bit, and his eyes got wider. Purple squeaked,

"I wanna see it! What is it? What is it?" He snatched the paper out of Red's hands, and started reading.

"Well, this isn't so bad. It's about us...We're talking about smoke machines and lasers...Now we're alone...Um...What're...What...AHH! WHO IN THE NAME OF MIYUKI WOULD WRITE THIS?" Purple had gotten to the part that had disturbed Red. The female technician took it back, giving the Tallest a desperate look.

"What should we do?" She squeaked. She lead them to a big room, where all the workers were sitting, most of them with a copy of the RAPR, all of them laughing hysterically.

"Go get me a megaphone, or something so everyone can hear me," Red demanded. She ran away and got one, handing him it. He turned it on, holding it close to Purple, then kicked him as hard as he could. Purple yelled out, and the megaphone amplified it. The loud laughing quieted. Red now used the megaphone himself.

"Anyone who has a copy of the...'_RAPR_' thingy must throw it away immediately, or we'll...Shoot you out in a cannon, or something! Or send you to work with Zim! This is _never _to be talked about _again_! Or else!" Red threatened. Everyone got quiet. The people still snickering (There were _quite a few_) did their best to keep it quiet. The offensive stories were put in a special trashcan, and were to be lit on fire and launched into the soul sucking vacuum of space sometime later. Just before Red could hit the 'launch' button on the trash-ship, the same female technician approached him.

"That wasn't the only story that came in. There was also _this_," The technician explained, handing them a paper,"I got this one out before they could copy it." Red snatched the paper from Purple ("Hey! I was reading that!" "I wasn't aware you could read." "That's cold."). He scanned the heading: "TAGR: A Love Story". He read the first paragraph, seeing that it seemed to start with a female human creature named Gaz. A few paragraphs later, Tak was introduced. Red didn't bother reading the rest; He already knew what would happen.

He looked at the name "Tak." He knew of the janitor drone Tak, and read the description of her. Yes, it was about _that_ Tak. He shrugged, and threw it into the trash-ship. Before Purple could say anything, he hit the launch button.

"You didn't light it on fire," Purple observed. Red, not noticing a single clump of papers fly out of the ship, hit the self-destruct.

"Who would send us something like that?" Purple said a once the papers were done exploding. Red narrowed his eyes.

"The second one took place on Earth. Who do we know that knows about the massive, and is on Earth?" Red hinted. They both narrowed their eyes.

"_Zim_." They hissed at the same time.


	2. The Scariest Females in the Universe

**Right, Disclaimer: I don't own Invader Zim or the characters, or the stupid chihuahua. IZ and it's characters belong to Jhonen Vasquez (Not sure about the chihuahua)**

Chapter Two: RAZR/More ZADR/The Scariest Females in the Universe

"GIR! GET IN HERE!" Zim screamed. Gir jumped into the lab, landing in front of Zim, in duty mode and saluting. Zim growled at him. Sometimes, Zim hoped Gir would start growling like a normal dog-monster. After all, Zim gave him plenty of examples.

"I read what you were reading the other day. Are there any more like it?" Zim hissed. Gir seemed to consider the question.

"Like which one?"

"Me and...the...human boy!" Zim couldn't bring himself to say 'Dib'.

"You mean ZADR?"

"What does ZADR mean?" Zim asked suspiciously.

"_Z_im _a_nd _D_ib _r_omance." Gir explained.

"Alright...What were the other ones again?"

"I had lots! I remember having RAPR, TAGR, and GAGR." Gir squeaked. He seemed proud.

"What do they stand for?"

"RAPR means Red and Purple-"

"_The Tallest_?" Zim shrieked.

"Yes, _the Tallest!_" Gir shrieked in response, doing a perfect imitation of Zim's screech.

"Then," Gir continued," There's Tak and Gaz, theeeeeen-"

"Tak and Gaz? As in, Irken Tak and the Dib-sister?"

"Yip." Gir, for once, seemed completely calm for a few seconds.

"Where are they? If either of them find it...Bleh! They have got to be the scariest females in the universe- They'd kill me!" Zim shuddered, not liking the thought of Gaz and Tak both out to get him. Gaz hating him alone was really scary, but if she had access to Irken technology? Gir shrugged. Zim ordered the computer to use the security cameras to find footage of where the TAGR had went. A video played of Zim throwing down the ZADR, and the RAPR and TAGR flying into the transportation machine. The computer confirmed that the stories went to the massive. Zim gulped. Had the Tallest seen them yet?

Tak looked around, wondering where she was. She had managed to find an old ship, but it didn't have fuel! It had a a tiny bit of the battery left, but she was saving it for an absolute emergency. She and Mimi had been floating around for what felt like forever. Something exploded in the distance, and a stapled clump of paper flew onto her windshield. She only saw it for a second, but recognized the English letters T, A, G, and R. She used a tractor beam to get the paper, and started reading it as soon as possible. She knew who Gaz was, and was a little surprised to see herself in the story. Her antennas twitched curiously, and she read more. There wasn't a lot more before the interesting part. The papers dropped from her hands, and her eye- not her antennas, but her eye- twitched angrily. She hissed, and started toward the source of where the explosion had been.

Zim shrank a little. One of Red's antennas twitched.

"Zim, where did your SIR unit _get _the papers?" His voice was cold. Purple had almost never seen Red this angry. He watched with entertainment as Zim shrank a little more.

"I don't know."

"Bring him in here! I'll ask him!" Red hissed. Gir responded, popping in front of the camera.

"I WAS HERE THE WHOLE TIME!"

"Wh-"

"I WAS HERE THE WHOLE TIME! THE _WHOLE TIME_!" Gir screamed once again. Red smacked his palm to his face.

"Yes, you were. _Where did you get those papers?_"

"I...don't know." Gir said in an almost confused tone. Red breathed out deeply. The only thing keeping him sane at the moment was the fact that Zim had to deal with this thing every day.

"Did you like the RAPR?" Gir asked innocently.

"No. I didn't like the RAPR." Red said, sounding totally exasperated.

"It's better than RAZR!" Gir said in an attempt to comfort him. Both of the Tallest looked up at the mention of 'RAZR'. RAZR sounded like 'razor', which hurt, which _is_ good, but Red knew he didn't like any of Gir's stories that had R as the first of third letter.

"RAZR? Like Red and Zim?" Purple asked, holding back a hysterical laughing fit. Gir nodded, and Purple started laughing so hard he fell over, and started squirming around on the floor, laughing like a complete maniac. Red's cheeks turned darker green in the Irken equivilent of blushing. He glared at Zim, Gir, then Purple, who he kicked as hard as he could in the ribs ("HA HA HA! OW! IT- HA HA -HURTS- HA HA HA HA HA -TO LAUGH! HA HA HA HA HA HA!") A technician looked at Purple. He hadn't heard the conversation, none of the technicians had, and was curious why Purple was laughing so hard. He asked, and Red hissed at him, causing him to run away. Red grabbed the screen.

"Zim, destroy any of those stories with me in them, or I will hire an assassin to destroy both _you_ and _the stories_! Got it?" Red hissed. Zim nodded. Purple managed to almost pull himself up by grabbing the table-top, but Red kicked him again, making him fall and start laughing harder. Red gave Zim a Gaz-worthy death stare and cut the transmission.

The Tallest heard something bang into one of the walls of the massive almost as soon as they cut the transmission with Zim. A technician brought up a camera view, and it showed Tak climbing out of a ship that had just smashed into the massive (It was a fairly small ship and didn't do any damage). She climbed on the walls, carrying Mimi in one hand, climbing with the other. She arrived in the room Red and Purple were in a few minutes later. She looked completely furious. She saluted.

"My Tallest, I've been floating around for months now, all because of Zim!...But, anyway, do you know what _THIS_ is about?" She held up the TAGR story with the hand that wasn't holding Mimi, who appeared to be broken. One of her eyes were red, one cyan. She occasionally would twitch awkwardly.

"Hey," Red growled,"I thought I destroyed this! Zim's robot got a whole bunch of..._stories_ somewhere. A few got sent to us by accident." Purple grabbed the paper out of Tak's hands. She was shaking with anger as soon as Zim's name was mentioned. Purple scanned through the document, his antennas occasionally twitching.

"I wasn't aware that was physically possible with a different species..." He muttered.

"What? What? Lemme see it!" Red snatched the story from Purple, and Purple pointed to a paragraph. Red's eyes widened for half a second, then he handed Tak the document. She stuffed it in her pocket.

"If I can get a ship, I can destroy both Earth and Zim! Please, give me this opportunity!" Tak asked, getting on her knees. Red almost laughed, imagining Zim as a slave on some god-forsaken planet.

"Alright. But you have to do one more thing along with that." Red explained.

"What is that?"

"Find his SIR unit. It has _more_ stories, with who-knows-what kind of couples. Find his stories, and destroy them all! Especially anything called 'RAZR'!" Red explained further. She nodded, and saluted. Red and Purple went to chose what kind of horrible super-weapons they wanted her to destroy Zim with, and Tak was taken to an infirmary to make sure she wasn't hurt and to get her SIR unit repaired.

There was a knock at the door. Dib jumped up to get it. He opened the door, and caught a glance of Tak in her human form before she shoved him down and tackled him.

"Dib! Where is your sister? I need to see her! _Now!_"

"What? Why?"

"GAZ! GET IN HERE!" Tak yelled, climbing off of Dib. Gaz appeared at the top of the stairway.

"_No one_ yells at me wh- Hey, I thought you were dead?" Gaz stopped mid-threat. Tak jumped up the stairs, landing about three stairs from the top. She held up a bundle of stapled papers.

"This is more important. I doubt you've ever heard of TAGR?" Gaz took the story, and sat on the top step to read it. She opened her eyes into slits while reading. Her eyes widened for half a second when she saw the main characters were herself, and Tak. Tak waited paitently for her to get to the 'bad' part. She flipped the page, and read more. It was obvious to Tak what Gaz was reading when her eyes snapped open wider and she blushed.

"What is this?" She hissed.

"Zim-" Before Tak could finish explaining, Gaz ran to her room, and came back with what appeared to be a stuffed animal (A snake, to be specific). Tak looked at the snake for a moment, wondering why Gaz would bring a stuffed snake, of all things. Before she could ask, Gaz dragged her out the door.

"Let's go see Zim," Gaz hissed. They didn't see Dib following them, because they were too busy thinking of fun ways to torture Zim. Random objects- like a few buildings, a tree, and a chihuahua- would burst into flame as Gaz passed them (Don't worry- that stupid chihuahua was okay two seconds later. How I _hate_ that chihuahua).

Zim was trying to destroy all the stories still in the base that Gir hadn't hid when the computer alerted him that two people were at the door. Before he could answer it, or at least put on his disguise, Gaz kicked the door in. Zim saw that Tak was there, too. No one needed to explain that they were angry. Zim ran the moment he saw them, diving into a trashcan that lead to his lab. He ran through the base, trying to look for _anything_ that could protect him. Something banged around in the other room. He heard Tak yell angrily. He involuntarily made a whimpering noise, and ran as fast as he could in the other direction.

The electricity wasn't working in the next room. He felt around for the emergency power generator, and switched it on. He felt relieved for a second, when someone grabbed him from behind. Gaz hissed at him.

"Zim. What is _this_?" She shoved the TAGR story in his face. He whimpered again. She growled, and held him against a wall by his throat. Tak ran in the room. She laughed. Gaz opened her eyes into slits, and Zim whimpered again, clawing at her hands. Tak whispered something to Gaz, who smiled, much to Zim's dismay. She let Zim down. He curled up on the floor, antennas quivering.

Dib decided Tak and Gaz had been in the base long enough that it would be save for him to enter. He walked in the door, which was knocked off it's hinges. He saw the stack of papers Zim was trying to clean up. He set them down on the couch, and sat beside them, picking up the first one in the stack. Zim had scribbled a few notes along the edges: "HORRIBLE" "DOOM" "DO NOT READ" "THIS IS THE MOST HORRIBLE DISGUSTING THING EVER!" "I AM GOING TO RIP MY OWN EYES OUT". Dib chuckled, seeing the psychotic rants in side-note form. He saw that his name was in the first sentence, and looked at the heading: "Wrong: Chapter One: No One is Looking (ZADR)". Having no idea what ZADR could mean, he read it.

Zim woke up, seeing that Tak and Gaz were both gone. The last thing he remembered was Gaz's fist flying toward his face. He felt the large bump on his head. He realized something was missing; His PAK was gone. He gasped, seeing the count-down clock in the corner of his vision. He scrambled up, seeing that there was nine minutes and thirty seconds before his body deteriorated. He ripped open the door as fast as he could, and sprinted up to the home part of the base. The Dib-worm was curled up on the couch, shivering. He seemed on the verge of tears. Zim waved his hand in front of his face, but Dib didn't seem to notice. He saw the ZADR in Dib's hand, and knew what had happened.

"Dib-worm! Your sister and Tak stole my PAK! If you help me find it within the next few minutes, I swear I will destroy every last ZADR story in existence! Deal?" Dib sat up, and nodded. He took a few seconds to compose himself, then said,

"They went this way!" Dib lead Zim out the door and toward his house. After a few minutes, Zim felt dizzy, and fell down often. Dib finally dragged him by one hand. They got to the Membrane household. There was tell-tale evil laughing coming from the house, and Dib dragged Zim in, not bothering to be careful about it. Zim's head banged against one of the electric-fence posts. Dib didn't seem to care. He dragged Zim through the living room and into the kitchen. Zim managed to stand up, but had to hold onto something to stay up; There was four minutes left.

Dib tackled Tak, who threw the PAK to Gaz. Dib tried to reason with his sister.

"C'mon! I have to get that back! _Please!_"

"Why? To save Zim?"

"Wait, save him?"

"He _dies_ without his PAK, Dib!" Gaz yelled. Zim cleared his throat, and everyone looked at him.

"If...I...Die...Gir...will...publish...the stories...onto the internet...and Irken...media..." He lied. Gir wouldn't do that, because he didn't know how to. Tak laughed.

"Why should Gaz or I care? We _have_ the TAGR, and will destroy it!" She taunted.

"That's not...the most humiliating pairing...ZATR...and...ZAGR..." Zim coughed. Tak wasn't in her disguise, and her antennas twitched.

"ZATR and ZAGR? Who's in those?"

"ZATR...Zim and Tak...ZAGR...Zim and...Gaz-human..." Gaz and Tak gasped. Gaz opened her eyes into slits, and Tak's antennas went down close to her head angrily. Zim gave them a hopeful look.

"I can...stop him...if you give...PAK back..."

"He's lying!" Tak sneered,"And I'll just destroy those stories!"

"Gir...not on...Earth...and not...lying..." There was a pause, and Dib grabbed the PAK while Gaz wasn't paying attention, and threw it to Zim. A moment later, Zim was reconnected and back to his full strength. He didn't need to think about what to do next; He ran as fast as he could out the door and back to his base. Tak yelled, and started going after him, but a someone grabbed her. She turned around and saw it was Gaz who had stopped her.

"Wait," Gaz said,"Before you go after him again, think of how he got away. First, you need to destroy those stories. And, I think you need to tie up my brother." Tak glared at Dib, who made a whimpering noise.

"Wait, no! He said that it I helped him, he'd destroy all the ZADR's in existence!"

"ZADR?" Gaz asked.

"Zim and...Dib romance." Dib mumbled. Tak's antennas twitched and Gaz snickered.

"Alright, Dib," Gaz said, still smirking,"If you _don't_ interfere again, not only will we _not_ kill you, we'll destroy all the stories." Dib, scared and embarrassed, just nodded. Gaz almost turned around to leave, but Tak whispered something to her. She laughed.

"Good point." They both turned around to look at Dib, who was too scared to move. By the time they left, he had been tied up and set in a corner, to make sure he  
"Didn't cause any more trouble".

Zim ran until he thought his squeedly spooch was going to explode. He called Gir.

"GIR! RESPOND!" He gasped desperately. Gir's voice came out of the microphone-like thing Zim was holding.

"_Yesssssss_?"

"They found the TAGR! We have to run! _Now_! Come and get me, make sure you have a full tank of fuel! No emptying it out for tuna, or something! Got it?"

"Yes, sir!" Gir was in duty mode, for the usual two-second period. A few seconds later, Gir came, in his dog costume. Zim climbed on top of him, and they flew to the base. The moment they got there, Zim grabbed a few random weapons, and jumped into the Voot cruiser. The roof opened, and they flew out as soon as possible. He caught a glimpse of Tak and Gaz standing outside his fence, and sighed in relief. Tak said something to Gaz, who motioned back toward her house, and they ran away. Zim laughed, thinking they were probably thinking of a way to accept defeat, or something.

"HE'S GETTING AWAY!" Tak yelled, seeing Zim take off in the Voot cruiser.

"C'mon! We've got a ship! It's in my garage!" Gaz yelled, motioning toward her house. Tak followed her. Tak didn't seem too happy about Dib taking her ship, but Gaz assured her she wouldn't mind if Tak took it back after they annihilated Zim. Tak took the controls, and they agreed Tak could drive if Gaz got to fire the first laser. Zim hadn't expected they'd have a ship, and hadn't gone very far. He screamed when he saw them, and so did Gir. Of course, Gir wasn't screaming from fear; He was screaming because he thought it rather fun. Gaz's voice came on over something like a radio in Zim's Voot cruiser.

"_Hey, Gir, we've got tacos over here if you come!_" Gaz lied. Gir gasped.

"Really?"

"_Yeah, and you can, er, play with my pet snake! You wanna?_"

"Is it a mongoose snake?"

"_...Yeah, sure, whatever. C'mon!_" Gir jumped out the window, and a panel opened on Tak's ship. Gir walked in, expecting tacos. Gaz handed him the stuffed snake. He was petting it when Gaz snapped her fingers, and demanded,

"Restrain him!" The snake obeyed, and wrapped itself around Gir. Gaz opened the panel on his head, and lifted out a huge stack of papers. She put them in a special drawer. Gir looked at her innocently.

"Can I have a taco?"

"Yeah...Um...The snake is the taco," Gaz said, not putting any effort in the lie. Gir shrieked with delight, and started gnawing on the snake. Gaz and Tak both gave him a strange look.

".._O-_kay...I'll have to chase Zim for a while. You can just...do whatever," Tak mumbled. Gaz reopened the special drawer, and started going through the papers. She saw a few things with her first initial in it.

"Gir, what do the letters mean?" She asked. He quickly explained it, and she took out most of the stories with a G in the title. They were mostly TAGR's and ZAGR's, but a few stuck out: GAGR, SAGR, RAGR, and DAGR.

"Gir! What do these stand for?" She demanded, showing him the papers.

"Let's see...Um...You-Skoodge, You-Red, and You-Dib."

"Me and my brother?" She snapped. She got that feeling you get before you get totally and violently sick. She suddenly felt so sick to her stomach, she didn't even notice that Gir hadn't explained one of them. She also didn't notice that Gir had gnawed a good way through the stuffed snake.

"Gaz! Try the laser now!" Tak said suddenly. Gaz hit a button that seemed like it would be a laser, and slip her fingers across a screen that seemed to have potential. A giant laser hit one of the pods on the Voot cruiser, and Zim took off at a amazing speed toward Mercury. Tak followed him. The chase went on for another few minutes, Gaz and Tak too absorbed in it to see Gir gnaw all the way through the snake and put all the papers back into his head. Gaz was surprised to see Zim fly right past Mercury and toward the sun. Tak followed him.

"Hey! What're you doing? You're going to kill us!" Gaz yelled, as Tak flew strait toward the sun.

"Irkens are immune to fire!" She yelled back.

"Humans aren't!" Gaz screamed, covering her eyes from the blindingly bright light. Tak scoffed.

"I don't care!" She yelled. Gaz felt it getting horribly hot. She seemed to be the only one who cared, or even noticed. Deciding that Tak definitely wasn't going back, she opened her eyes just enough to see. They weren't close enough that she would be blinded, but it still hurt to open her eyes. Ignoring her slight headache, Gaz kicked Tak as hard as she could. Tak looked up at her, and kicked her back. No one was piloting the ship, and Zim had noticed, so he just sat back and watched them fight.

Gaz tackled Tak, who pushed her off and sent her flying a few feet. Gaz growled, and Tak hissed at her. Gaz kicked her in the chest, effectively knocking the breath out of her. Tak tried to kick her back, but Gaz jumped the other way.

"GIR!" Gaz yelled,"HELP ME WITH THIS!"

"Yes, si- ma'am!" Gir said, snapping into duty mode for a few seconds, and tackled Tak, and began licking her.

"AAARRRRRHHHH! OFF ME! Ew!" Tak yelled. Gaz piloted the ship a another thousand feet away from the sun, and, with Gir's help, forced Tak in the special drawer. Before Tak could climb out, Gaz hit the 'launch' button, and Tak was launched into space, to be found by Skoodge, who was just wondering around in space, bored, alive, a few days later. Gaz started going back towards Earth, trying to get as far away as possible from Zim and the sun.

"YOU'RE NOT DEAD YET?" Purple cried out in dismay. Red was about to cover that up, but didn't need to.

"I know! Good for you!" Zim chirped. Red quietly said a horrible curse word in Irken.

"Alright, Zim, you're alive. Have you destroyed the stories yet?" Red asked. Zim's antennas twitched.

"Yeah, totally," He lied. He didn't know that Gir still had all the stories. Actually, he figured they were either floating around in space or that Gaz-human had destroyed them. He had no idea about the tons of papers in Gir's head.


	3. Blackmail

Chapter Three: GAGR/Others I didn't bother mentioning/ Blackmail

**Bleh, I hate this part... No matter how many of my multiple personalities are convinced that they're Jhonen Vasquez, I (we) are not, and therefore, do not own Invader Zim, characters, or anything else to do with that.**

Gaz looked at herself in the mirror. She had found a price tag on the sparkly red dress: $149.99. It had a bow going across the middle, the bow part on the side. She sighed. This day had been anything but normal. One, she was wearing a sparkly red dress. Another thing, her first date turned out to be with a small robot who practically blackmailed her. She felt a bit of anger again, but reminded herself that if Gir thought the date went well, they would destroy all the stories that involved her. Her brother walked by her room, taking a few seconds to realize what he saw, he walked back by a few seconds later.

"Wow, Gaz, goin' somewhere?" He asked. She growled at him.

"Tell anyone of this, and you will wake up under a lake in Cuba." She threatened. He just walked away. She looked at herself in the expensive dress again. The day before, Gir had blackmailed/asked her out, promising that if it went well, she could destroy all the stories she wanted, or maybe keep a few to threaten people with. This morning, he had brought the red dress, telling her to wear it. She looked at the exaggeration bow with a special kind of hatred. She tugged on it, and the bow came right off, the strip of cloth stayed. She laughed, and tucked her skull necklace into the cloth so the skull stuck out like the bow had.

"Much better," She said to herself. She glared at the clock. It was 5:50. Gir said he would 'pick her up' at six. She smacked her palm to her forehead, and went downstairs. Her brother was staring at her, _again_. A car horn honked from outside, and Dib looked out the window.

"Gaz, come see this! There's a huge black limo outside!" He cried out, gaping at the car. She looked outside, seeing Gir, with a tux and his dog costume on, coming up the walk. She went to the door, and he handed her a dozen black roses wrapped up in the weird plastic wrap roses come in. Dib gaped at her. Before leaving, she hissed at him,

"Tell anyone and-"

"Yeah, yeah, lake in Cuba."

"No. Coffin in ground." Gaz said in a matter-of-fact tone. He gave her a half scared half curious look. She walked out the door. Gir shut the door behind her, and opened the limo door. She climbed in, and saw they weren't the only ones there. There was also a man who appeared to be in his thirties, who had an attractive blond woman clinging to him.

"This is Brad's limo," Gir explained. From how he dressed, Brad had a lot of money. The blond woman giggled for no apparent reason. Gaz couldn't help but be impressed by Gir's friends. Impressed, sure, but not surprised- with Gir, you learned not to be surprised. The blond started talking to Gaz.

"Sooooooooooooo...Do you, like, watch movies?" She asked.

"Yeah, I actually _have_ watched movies before! They're cool!" Gaz said back, completely sarcastically. The woman wasn't smart enough to catch the sarcasm.

"Hey, Gir," Brad asked quietly,"Is that an _older_ chick?" Gir gave him a slightly confused look and nodded innocently.

"No, wait! Stop here!" Gir said suddenly. The chauffeur stopped the limo.

"We'll get out here," Gir said, climbing out. Gaz got out after him, still blushing a little from Brad's question. She saw they were in front of a Bloaty's Pizza Hog.

"Gir, why're we here?"

"This is your favorite eatin' place, silly!" Gir chirped. Gaz sighed, and looked down at the sparkly red dress. Not really a 'Bloaty's' dress. She walked in after him and sat at a table. Sure, she was embarrassed about being in Bloaty's in a one hundred fifty dollar dress, with a green dog in a tux, but honestly? She didn't care what other people thought. If what Gir said was right, she'd be able to blackmail almost anyone in the whole town with the stories. She remembered Gir blackmailing her into coming. Really, he never came out and said it- He just casually mentioned how many more humiliating stories he had with her in them just before asking her out.

Gir ordered an entire pizza, and they ate. He _almost_ took the last piece, but she growled at him. It occurred to her that for a dog, humans/Irkens seemed to growl at him a bit more often than he growled at them. She waited for him to finish his Classic Poop Cola, bursting into a bit of a violent coughing fit after each giant slurp. He paid the waitress with a large tip. Gaz wasn't sure if she wanted to know where he got all of this money. They walked out. Gaz expected him to leave her alone, or *She shuddered at the very thought* walk her home, but he dragged her in the other direction. She went with him.

They arrived in front of an exclusive club. She had never looked into it, but heard about almost everyone getting denied access. She protested, but he dragged her in the line. The line went by fast (The guards didn't waste time). She was a little surprised to hear the guard call Gir by his name.

"Gir, you know him?"

" 'Course I do. He's the guard, see?" He acted like it was a simple matter. She didn't bother asking further.

Dib was reading "Crop Circles Magazine" when Gaz walked in. He gave her a strange look. She walked off earlier, in a sparkly red dress and was now coming back at one in the morning.

"Where've you been?" He asked, his eyes narrowed suspiciously. She gave him a smile. Her smile was truly evil.

"Gettin' some papers," She responded, lifting a duffel bag she hadn't had earlier that day a little higher for him to see. He _could_ have thought about it, but there was an exclusive interview with a vampire, and he wanted to see if it was real. She gave him another sinister smile, and took the duffel bag upstairs.

Gaz changed into her pajamas the moment she got into her room, and started going through the bag. She and Gir had already destroyed any fan fictions with her in it, now she had the rest. She laughed evilly. From what she had seen, she'd be able to force anyone to do about anything for years.

Red was uncomfortable. Well, he was really mortified. It turned out, before he and Purple destroyed all RAPR in existence, a few copies had secretely been published. Now what they were in a very important meeting with another empire _almost_ as strong as the Irken empire, the other leaders brought it up- even worse, they seemed to think he and Purple were really lovers. Purple hadn't really helped the matter by mentioning RAZR. Now, all the attention was on Red. It was difficult to tell, but he could have sworn a female leader from the other empire was smirking. The attention was on him and Zim, rather than him and Purple. Red honestly would have preferred them think he and Purple were together than he and Zim.

"I-I assure you the stories are _pure_ fiction, written by someone for _fun_. They were sent to the massive by mistake." Red stammered. He knew he was blushing. The female giggled. He kicked Purple under the table.

"What was that for?" Purple whispered.

"_Bringing up RAZR!_" Red hissed back. Seeing them whisper, the female giggled again. Red knew how embarrassing this was, but it was better the Meekrob princess was entertained; Invader Tenn was currently invading their home planet, and Red wanted the Meekrob to like the Irken empire as long as possible- At least, until after they had all been wiped out.

"So, Tallest Red," A Meekrob said,"None of them are true?"

"Absolutely none of them. They are ALL completely and totally false. Besides, things like..._that_ are illegal on Irk, and our PAK's prevent the ability to feel- er -attracted to anyone." Red lied. The PAK_ didn't_ stop that, but it was better that they thought that. The planet leaders all sat at chairs, at big half-circle desks, like the ones at the White House. Red and Purple sat at the front (It was on Irk, so they got the posts in the front. The Meekrob filled the whole first two levels, and less important leaders were behind them). Red was unaware he was leaning on the microphone, accidentally hitting the big red button. Purple didn't know either, and asked Red,

"Why don't _I_ ever get asked the questions?" He whined. He was oblivious to the echoing of his statement, and Red was too irritated to notice.

"They don't want to hear your girl voice!" Red snapped. This time, they _did_ notice the echoing. The same female Meekrob laughed for a few seconds. Red cleared his throat, got off the microphone button, and told a technician to bring up some stats on the computer screen. The technician, who was secretly snickering himself, did as he was told. The rest off the meeting went painfully slow, with the female Meekrob sometimes giggling. Red was glad when it was over. Purple had gotten over Red snapping at him (He felt a bit sorry for Red; They now knew of the RAZR stories).

"We have to get rid of all traces of any of the stories! ARG! Computer!" Red snapped when he and Purple were alone. The computer wasn't unlike Zim's, but there was a big difference; The Tallests' computer was a thousand times better than any computer an Invader got in their base.

"Yes, sir?" The computer's electronic voice responded.

"Find out if the stories were really destroyed! If not, locate them!" Red growled. The computer did as it was told, and a few minutes later,

"The stories were not destroyed. They are currently in possession of an Earth-Human." The computer purred. Red narrowed his eyes. Purple just kept on eating his donuts. _Ahh...So Zim _didn't_ really destroy them! Typical...Tak didn't either..._ One of the Tallest thought. The other: _Yum! These donuts are great!_

"Get more information on the human-thing!" Red commanded. The computer brought up a file constructed from multiple Earth files. It had multiple pictures of Gaz, most of the pictures either showed a slightly older boy (He seemed a little scared) standing next to her, or appeared to be taken when she wasn't looking. One of them was a screen-shot from a TV show. It showed her sitting in a chair, looking a bit angry. The subtitle said: "Gaz: Dib's Scary Sister". The file said: "Gazlene (Gaz), daughter of Earth famous Professor Membrane. One older sibling (Dib, Male: 'Paranormal Investigation?'), appears to be aware Food service drone ZIM is an alien, doesn't really care." That was the main summary. There were multiple supporting articles on anger management issues and a "Game Slave", whatever that was. Red frowned. According to the file, the girl wasn't much past a smeet. How did _she_ get the stories?

Gaz smiled, sorting through the stories. They were REALLY entertaining, now that she wasn't involved. She didn't want to read them, of course, but seeing who was involved was just great. She laughed evilly. The new Game Slave Three would be coming out soon, and now someone could bye it for her. She was sitting on her bed, across from several large screens hanging on the wall. Once flickered, and the rest followed suit. She glared at them. They _didn't_ malfunction, so there was a reason for them turning on without her saying so. The Irken insignia appeared in all but the middle one, which was the largest. The image on the middle one was blurry, but she caught shades of magenta, black, and green. She got off her bed and found the dial connected to the back of the middle one. After a few minutes, she could see a clear image. There were two aliens, one of them munching on a big bag of donuts. The other glared at him, then looked at Gaz.

"You're the human girl, Gaz, aren't you?" Red asked. Gaz didn't know that was really his name, but the biggest difference between the two aliens were the colors of their eyes and uniforms. She mentally referred to him as Red.

"Pft. Depends." She replied.

"Zim is on your planet, and you know he's an invader, right?"

"Yes. He's _horrible_ at it, though. Tak was a threat, but Zim...He's just annoying. Why should I have to listen to my stupid brother go on about stupid Zim if Zim can't even take over the world? He's just so _bad_ at it!" Gaz vented to Red.

"Zim is pretty bad at invading...but you were in one of the stories! Do you know about them?" Red asked. Gaz opened her eyes wide enough to show that she was rolling them.

"I was in several stories. You know, there isn't just _one_ for every character for of couple! There are a ton!" Gaz said, sitting down on her bed. "Hey, you're Zim's leaders, aren't you? The Tollest or something." Gaz really knew they were called the Tallest, but she liked seeing Red's and Purple's annoyed looks.

"_Tall_est. Anyway, you know where the rest of the stories are, don't you?"

"Pft. Depends." Gaz replied once again.

"You can't do that!" Purple cried out, talking for the first time in the entire conversation. "You've _already_ answered with that, you have to use something different!"

"Your voice is kinda...I dunno, girly. It makes me want to punch you in the face," Gaz commented rather nonchalantly. Purple's antennas twitched, and he stayed quiet. Gaz opened her eyes to slits.

"Why're you calling me, anyway? Do you know what time it is here? Three in the morning!" She snapped. Actually, she didn't mind, but she suspected they wanted the stories destroyed. She wasn't going to let _that_ happen.

"_Riiiiiight_...We could have figured that one out, _buuuut_...We didn't really care." Red explained flatly.

"Why are you calling me?"

"The stories."

"Pft. DUH!" Gaz rolled her eyes. Were all Irkens this stupid? _Tak didn't seem this stupid, but she wasn't smart enough to not even TRY to conceal the fact that she was about to kill me..._ Gaz thought. Though she would NEVER admit it (not even to herself), Tak may have won if Gir hadn't been there.

"We want you to destroy them!" Red said, interrupting Gaz's thoughts.

"Yeah! Destroy them!" Purple echoed.

"Why should I?"

"Because if you don't, we'll...I dunno...Blow up your sun!" Red threatened. Gaz rolled her eyes (again).

"I've never wanted much of a tan anyway."

"You'd die a cold, painful death!" Red argued.

"You wanna see cold?" Gaz threatened back, not really sure where she was going with this.

"Yeah, sure, whatever."

"Try calling when I'm busy playing Game Slave, and I will show you a the most painful, miserable day of your lives! I will make you beg for death, and hang your life on a string until you-"

"Okay! Alright already!" Red squeaked. "What about if we award you?"

"...I'm listening...But I have a better idea..."

Zim gaped at the article on the Irken website. Five hundred million views, and translated into nine hundred different languages.. He couldn't believe his eyes. _MOTHER OF IRK, NO! This can't be! This is the worst day EVER!...WHERE DID IT ALL GO WRONG?_ The comments said:

**XxZIMSHALLDIExX**: MWA HA HA HA HA! THIS IS WHAT HE HAD COMING! HA HA HA HA HA!

**Invader_Skoodge**: ...wow

**FDCRTIA123**: I agree with ZIMSHALLDIE... THIS IS HILARIOUS!

**not_a_human**: No! None of this is true! IGNORE IT PEOPLE! ZIM AND DIB (I AM NOT DIB) WOULD NEVER...*shudders*

**Guest**: Huh... I once had a human student who's name was Dib. He always complained about Zim being an alien, and I humored him to find the real psychological problem. It turns out, Zim WAS an alien. I'm actually traveling with some aliens now. I used to work with public school children *shudders* they're almost as scary as this article.

**Tallest_Red**: HA HA HA! THIS IS GREAT (and disturbing)! HEY, PURPLE, COME AND SEE THIS! ...WAIT, NO, YOU DEFECTIVE TECHNICIAN! YOU WEREN'T SUPPOSED TO TYPE THAT PART! OR THAT PAR- OH, NEVER MIND!

**TALLEST_PURPLE_ROX**: ...The day this gets published will be the worst day of Zim's life... HA HA HA! YES!

Zim couldn't help but wonder who the second, fourth, and last two were. He stared at the article. Thirty-three pages...OF DOOM! The article was on ZADR stories, and showed both several snippets of ZADR's, and a full ZADR story. It also had the author's opinion. The author was brand new to the site, and published this article three minutes after creating the account. Zim looked at the last part of the author's opinion:

Personally, I believe stupid Zim and stupid Dib ARE together. They're both SO STUPID, they're PERFECT FOR EACH OTHER!

Zim now looked at the top, where it showed the author's screen name: **GS_pwn_girl**

Whoever could THAT be?

**There. All done!...I feel compelled to explain a few things to those of you I hadn't explained some things to through telepathy. The screen names...The second, fourth, and last two (on the comments) are a little obvious, but here are the REAL identities of the others: XxZIMSHALLDIExX is *over dramatic drum roll* Tak! FDCRTIA123 is Sizz-Lor. Guest is Dwicky (who only showed up in one episode: Vindicated!). And the GS_pwn_girl is kinda obvious. I don't want to explain it...But my second personality (a mongoose-ostrich) wants you to know that its Gaz, and the article was her little idea earlier talked about. And the thing about Red's comment, he was having a technician type it while he said it (if you didn't catch that)... And I also wish to include that Gir DIDN'T get rid of the GAGR, which he hid from Gaz... so that leads to the dramatic message: "The End...?" Random dude: "Yeah, I think it is." Me: "SHUT UP! YOU RUINED MY MOMENT!"**


	4. Gaz Punches Back

Chapter Four: Attack of the GAGR/ Gaz Punches Back (GAGR, ZAGR, mentions of others)

Zim shuddered. This was the last place he wanted to be. But, he had no choice! Somehow, someone got a hold of all the *shudder* ZADR.

Gir's "room" was a wreck. Mud, taco wrappers, and terrified pigs littered the floor. Zim gagged again, then began to riffle through the garbage.

XxX

Dib frowned. He had seen his sister furious, crazy, and terrifyingly angry. But what could _this_ be? For the last hour, she had stood there, completely frozen, staring, not responding. He scooted cautiously away. If she blew up, he didn't want to be near her.

Sure enough, just as he locked up the worst of the power tools, he heard a scream. He shuddered. What had made her furious enough to freeze up for so long?

XxX

"Do we _have_ to?"

"Yes."

"I don't wanna!"

"We have to call her," Red sighed. He wasn't looking forward to calling the human girl either. But, he didn't have much of a choice. Not after what had happened that morning.

The website with the published ZADR article published another interesting article. This one was called "GAGR- WHAT IS IT?" It turned out, Gaz hadn't gotten a hold of _all_ the stories. There were a few left. Of course, one was enough to do serious damage.

As far as the Tallest were concerned (well, the one that cared was concerned), Gaz was an ally. An ally with a very short temper and an ally that could do a lot of damage.

XxX

"Human girl!" Purple greeted Gaz. Her eye twitched.

"Girly Tillest," She hissed back. She still knew they were the Tallest, but deeply enjoyed annoying them.

"_Tall_est. And his name if Purple," Red explained.

"My name is Gaz," She said with malice. Before Red could say anything, she screamed, "I'M ALSO ONE OF THE G'S IN GAGR!" Her arm broke into tiny spasms, and one of her wide-open eyes twitched.

"Yes, that's why we called," Red said in the most assuring voice he could. It did not do anything to dampen the twitching or spasms. "The fact is, these stories could do more damage than either of us could imagine. Do you know any of the…_couples_…That concern any of us three?" Gaz picked up a pencil and paper. On the paper, she wrote in jagged letters:

RAGR RAPR RAZR GAGR ZAGR ZAGR2 SAGR TAGR TAPR RATR DAGR

"That's…a lot," Purple squeaked.

"What do they all mean?" Red asked.

"You and Purple, You-Zim, Me-Gir, Zim-Gir, Someone named 'Skoodge'-me, Me-Tak, Tak-Purple, Red-Tak, and…my…" She mumbled something, "And I."

"What was that?"

"My…brother…and I," Gaz murmured. Red and Purple both flinched. Wasn't that illegal?

"Is that all?" Red asked. Gaz shoved the paper aside. She didn't wasn't to mention her and Red.

"Yep," She lied.

"Did I hear _Zim and the SIR unit?_" Purple asked.

"_S_ir? What's the _G_ stand for?" Gaz asked.

"Yeah, we could use that!" Red said, not hearing Gaz.

"But, first…I want to make sure Zim sees it," Gaz said, smirking evilly.

XxX

"WHAT ARE YOU DOING?"

"SHUT UP AND WATCH IT!"

"WATCH WHAT?"

"IT!"

"WHAT?"

"I _JUST _TOLD YOU!"

"_WHAT?_"

"…You have listening issues, Zim," Gaz scoffed, slapping her palm to her forehead. "Computer!"

"Um…I think I'm supposed to only listen to Zim," The computer said. Gaz slapped her hand over Zim's mouth.

"Come on!" Gaz insisted.

"Oh, I was going to listen anyway," The computer said.

"Good. Pull up the Irken website with the ZADR, but we're going to look up a _different _article." By the end of the hour, Zim was nearly in tears. This was…horrifying. Perhaps it wasn't as bad as _Dib,_ but _Gir?_

Gaz laughed the entire time.

XxX

**Comments to: "ZIM DOES IT AGAIN- ZAGR (ZIM-GIR)"**

**Tallest_Red**

THIS IS THE GREATEST THING SINCE ZADR! No, someone else is typing it this time. Wait, are you typing this? No, just delete…WHAT HAPPENED! WHY WOULD HE DO THAT? NO, NOT THIS PART! YOU IDIOT!

**not_a_human**

He's right. This is better than ZADR. In fact, everyone in the entire universe should stop reading the ZADR article and read this. I am not Dib.

**GS_pwn_girl**

I really did do GREAT with this. It just may be my favorite so far. In fact, this may not be the last. If I HAVE TO, I MIGHT KEEP WRITING ABOUT ZIM. DON'T FORCE ME. WHINERS.

**Invader_Skoodge**

I don't know what she was talking about at the end of her comment (above) but this has gotten even more views than ZADR. Just…wow. Good job.

_**(Comments: 1,237,123,995 more)**_

XxX

_(Snippet from: "ZIM DOES IT AGAIN- ZAGR (ZIM-GIR)")_

Most of you read the ZADR article. While I still think they'd be PERFECT FOR EACHOTHER, I have to direct your attention to another monstrosity. Yes, more Zim news. Who is the victim this time? His very own SIR unit: GIR.

XxX

**I re-read this entire story, and decided to try to continue it. I hope the quality doesn't drastically drop :) Once again, I'll explain the screen names: Tallest_Red is a bit self explanatory, he **_**was**_** having a technician type when Purple did something awful (That's not important for now, though), not_a_human is Dib, GS_pwn_girl is Gaz (I was in a bit of a hurry when I chose that), and last but probably least, Skoodge is Skoodge.**

**I apologize for my late update (o'-clock wise and month wise.) **

**Random Guy: "You told **_**me**_** this was the end!"**

**Me: "ARG! NO I…Did I? ...GO AWAY ANYWAY!"**


End file.
